We have a little catching up to do.. So who am I?

I’m Lorraine, a 39 year old cosmetic dental practice manger from Enniskillen, Co Fermanagh Northern Ireland – and I’m fat, really fat. A whole 18st 10lbs fat according to my bathroom scales yesterday morning (I used the heavy scales – more on that another time).

So that puts me in the ‘Extreme Obesity’ category. I was looking around the web and extreme obesity seems to be the new morbidly obese term. When did that all change? It’s been a while since I last dared to look this sort of information up and confirm what I already knew. But here it is nevertheless so no hiding it now.

You know its kind of liberating saying it out loud – I’m 18st 10lbs. I think the only person I’ve every told my true weight too were my slimming world consultants (there have been many) and last night, my new ‘Lead Personal Health Coach’ Paul Parry @ We:Bo.

So how did I get here? The no bullshit version I did this to myself.

Drinking to much, eating to much and not exercising. Plain and simple!!

And aside from being overweight I’ve let it ruin my life. Every extra pound that went on stripped away a little bit more of what was me along with it. Every piece of clothing that stopped fitting, every well meant comment and the not so nice ones as well, they were all daggers to the soul.

There are very few highs if you’re in this situation – apart from the ones you manufacture yourself. All people really see is the ‘Fat Persons Facade’ – the life and soul of the party funny person, because that’s pretty much all we can do, make a joke of ourselves and make people laugh so we fit in and hide the pain.

But the truth is, I’m the one who has no pictures of themselves because  I cant bear to see myself, I’m the one who doesn’t go on dates and will be lonely all their life because no one would want someone like me, I’m the one who cant go clothes shopping down my local high street because you cannot buy size 24 unless its online and I’m the one who hides my unhappiness and social anxiety every minute or every day. But I’m also the only one who can change this all.

A sobering thought really.

Its all down to me now!!

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